Sunday, February 28, 2010

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Our BIG Little Boy

Asher had his 2 week checkup yesterday and everything is looking good. He is getting to be quite the chunky baby considering that he was only 7 pounds 9 ounces at birth and now he is already 8 pounds 12 ounces! This boy can eat! He started drinking 4 ounces at a time just a few days after birth and basically hasn't stopped since. He wakes up usually every 3-4 hours to guzzle down a bottle and then sleeps the rest of the time in between. Addie likes to be my helper when I feed him. She sits on my lap and holds the bottle. Then she helps pat his back when I burp him. Finally, she brings to empty bottle to the kitchen and throws it in the sink. Cute girl! She loves him lots and lots. She even gives big wet kisses like he does now with lots of slobber included free of charge. Everyone has been asking for pictures so here are a few...

Friday, February 19, 2010

One Week Old

My little guy is one week old already and I can't believe it! He's such a good little baby. He's a little piggy - eating four ounces of formula at a time already. That's good though because it also means that I only have to get up once during the night to feed him. I go to bed early. Aaron feeds Asher at 10pm. I get up at 2am for his night feeding and again at 6am. Sleeping baby = happy mommy. I just hope it stays that way because I'm a girl who needs her sleep. Addie is adjusting well so far. We have had our moments where she has tested her limits, but our new thing is having her go to her room for a minute to calm down. It totally works. I just tell her what I expect and if she doesn't do it, then she needs to take a break in her room. Oddly enough, she is quite obedient in doing just that. She walks or runs in there, stands for a minute and then comes out again saying, "Sorry Mommy." It is so sweet. We hug and talk about it and then she plays again. I'm sure it won't last for long since she is just about to turn 2, but I'll take it for now. Addie absolutely adores Asher. She copies everything I say to him right now. The morning time is the cutest because she has to go see the baby first thing. She says, "Hi buddy!" OR "Hey baby!" She gives him lots of lingering kisses on the cheeks or head. He squirms a little and she does it again. Pretty funny. Did I mention that he has at least one dimple? It's in his left cheek. Absolute cuteness. I love my hunk!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

The Best Weekend Ever!

What a difference two weeks can make... we got a call from our agency yesterday with the news that a baby born had just been born. The birth mom flew in earlier this week and an adoptive couple hadn't been picked yet. She went into labor on Friday night and called her caseworker in the morning when she was having contractions every 10 minutes. Luckily they made it to the hospital by 7am because our little guy was born not even an hour later! When our agency called me, I had just dropped Aaron off at work and was headed into Walmart to do some grocery shopping before going back home. Chris told me all about the situation and asked if we would be interested in adopting the baby boy. I said, "Of course!" It wasn't even a question because we had already decided that any good situation would work for us... and we wanted a boy! Then Chris told me that we were picked by the agency and this boy was ours! I was completely shocked and not really sure how to respond other than quite a bit of disbelief at that point. It was also difficult to get emotionally invested in the situation after everything we had just been through. After getting off the phone, I walked out of Walmart without getting anything and went back to Provo to pick Aaron up from work. We contacted our parents in between phone calls with each other and made arrangements for our cousins to watch Addie while we went to the hospital. We met the birth mom and talked with her for a little while about how grateful we were for being able to adopt this baby boy. She was really tired and a little bit shy but it was really good to meet her. We spent about five hours with Asher in the nursery because all of the hospital rooms were full so we had to wait for one to open up. The nurses were really nice and accommodating. There was also a little girl in the nursery being adopted at the same time. Eventually we had to leave in order to get all of our paperwork filled out. We came home and grabbed some food. Then I left Aaron and Addie at home to get ready for bed so that I could go out and run some more errands. I got the birth mom a necklace and earrings with the baby's birthstone in it. Then I ran to Target (my favorite place) to get some coloring books, crayons, board books, small toys and snacks to make a gift bag for the birth mom's other two kids who are 2 and 3 years old. I came home exhausted and mentally drained, but I had to spend the next couple of hours cleaning my house, folding laundry and mopping floors because I just couldn't bring a baby home to a messy house. We were in bed by midnight and up again not too many hours later because of nervousness and excitement all wrapped together. We picked up donuts on our way to our cousin's house again, dropped Addie off to play and were back at the hospital to hold our little guy until we signed paperwork around 10:00 this morning. It was a little stressful not knowing if everything would work out, but it was just fine. A huge weight was lifted as soon as I knew he was ours for good. I cannot even express how grateful we are to his birth mom for her willingness to place her baby in our family. She is a strong person with a huge amount of courage and faith. We hope her family continues to be blessed as ours has been even through difficult times. After signing paperwork, we rushed over to pick up Addie who fell asleep as soon as the car started rolling. Then we were off to meet our attorney to give him the initial paperwork to get the ball rolling as quickly as possible. He is a great man who counseled us during our last adoption that ended up falling through. Then we picked up lunch and went back to the hospital so Addie could meet her baby brother. She was kind of worried and upset about being there at first because she probably thought she was getting shots or something painful that doctors always seem to have up their sleeves. It didn't take her very long to warm up to Asher though and she quickly decided that he was her baby and belonged in her lap. We cuddled and tried to get pictures. I think that is going to be an impossible task so who knows when we'll get a good family picture! She gave him about a million kisses. Then the hospital photographer showed up ready to take pictures which we just had to purchase. Hopefully one of the pictures caught his left cheek dimple. I'm pretty fond of dimples myself! Addie helped me feed Asher a bottle. We sang some songs to him. The nurse came in and took vitals. I changed Asher's diaper while Aaron changed Addie's diaper. We tried to get the TV to work to keep Addie entertained a little longer but she was getting pretty fussy after these two long days away from home. We finally packed up and headed home late this afternoon. Asher was fast asleep after chugging down a bottle. He was the only baby in the nursery so I'm sure he'll be a happy camper tonight. I'm pretty much going nuts that I'm not there with Asher tonight but I'll have plenty of nights in the future to snuggle him. We stopped at Costco on the way home to pick up diapers, baby wipes and formula. Addie went to bed an hour early and now we are trying to get everything ready for the big day when we bring him home with us tomorrow! Did I mention that Aaron is playing Super Mario Brothers on the Wii? Yeah, that's his way of destressing. Mine you ask? I clean the house of course! Remember how I mentioned that I stayed up till midnight last night mopping floors? I feel so much better. I think I'll go do the dishes now! Yay us! We have a baby boy!

Name: James Asher (we love this name and had to have it for our boy)
Weight: 7 pounds 9 ounces (with lots of skin to fill up with chubbiness)
Height: 19 inches long (with incredibly long fingers and toes)

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The Longest Weekend in the World

Our adoption out in South Carolina didn't go as planned. We ended up losing a lot of money out of it and it was also difficult emotionally. Right now our family is just trying to recover from everything and get on with our lives. We don't know if or when we'll be able to adopt again because of this experience. Here's the story:

We made plans to travel out to South Carolina on Friday after the birth mom signed the consent papers to adopt which meant that all of her rights were signed over. We flew out and met our attorney at the hospital so we could see the baby boy. We held him in the nursery for a while, took pictures and then went to spend the night at our hotel. The plans were to pick him up from the hospital on Saturday afternoon. We got a call around midnight from our attorney saying that the birth mom had changed her mind and wanted to keep the baby. She felt she had been coerced into signing the papers. She moved rooms so our attorney could not have any contact with her after that.

We waited all the next day to find out if the baby would be released to us. Our attorney started working on our paperwork but didn't really get anything done because it was the weekend. The birth mom and baby stayed in the hospital on Sunday as well. In the meantime, our attorney decided that this case was more than she anticipated so she started charging us a lot more than we expected even though technically all of her paperwork would have been the same whether or not the birth mom changed her mind. We started to worry about her real intentions and about her work ethic but decided to give it one more day so we would have a chance to go to court the next day.

Monday came and we still did not have an opportunity to go to court. Our attorney had not scheduled a time for anything and said we would just get an emergency hearing. That did not happen of course. The judge said the case could wait a few more days. Unfortunately, the hospital lawyer decided that if we didn't get into court then the baby would be released to the birth mom on Tuesday. We didn't have any choice but to end the situation because once the birth mom had the baby at home it would be really difficult and expensive to get the baby back.

We contacted the hospital lawyer and an arrangement was made on our behalf to meet the birth mother to talk with her and also so I could hold the baby one more time. We met at 8:30 on Monday night at the hospital. We told the birth mom that we never wanted to have the adoption become a hostile situation and we only wanted what was best for the baby. I held the baby and told him how much we would always love him. I asked the birth mom if I could give her a hug. We embraced and cried for awhile. We gave her a couple of outfits, diapers and baby wipes for her to use. It was the most difficult thing I have ever done and I never want to go through that again. A hospital representative walked out with us and told me that was the most respectful thing she has ever witnessed. I broke down crying and we left.

I honestly believe that the baby would have had a much better home and life with us. We will always love him and wish he could be in our family. We are disappointed in how our attorney handled the entire case. She delayed so many things in the process that even if we were able to come home with the baby in the end it would have been way beyond our ability to pay and our time out of state would have been extremely long. It was not a good experience but in the end we had to think of our family and what was best for us as well.

We are home now and catching up on sleep. Addie and I plan on wearing our jammies day and night as we spend our time resting and watching the Disney channel. It was a really overwhelming experience for her. She still asks about the baby. Some people say she is too young to understand, but we know that she feels a loss just like us. The most precious experience I will remember is when she kissed the baby as we said goodbye.

We still hope we can adopt again someday but we have no idea when we will be able to afford it again. It is so expensive and there is always a risk involved. I just can't imagine the possibility of losing what we have lost already over again. We hope and pray that our little boy will come to us sooner than later because I can't imagine a life without him.